Can You Name That Jackson?!
What the hell happened to Janet Jackson?!
Oh, wait. La Toya Jackson looks absolutely amazing!
The 52-year-old kook should wear Janet's brown wig more often.
Filed under: Wacky & Weird, Janet Jackson, Nurse!
Selma Blair -- Not Razor Sharp
Perhaps foreshadowing the fate of her new sitcom, Selma Blair bit it big time while riding a Razor scooter.
Selma is the breakout star of the fall season -- literally.
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Nurse!
It's Time for an Intervention!
Everyone is entitled to a bad hair day and outfit every once in a while, but Helena Bonham Carter has completely used up all of her get out of styling cards!
After being spotted dressed like this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, the 42-year-old mother of two once again orthopedically stepped out in London on Wednesday, looking like a homeless aristocratic 19th Century vagabond loon.
Someone please tell Helena she's not contractually bound to dress like she's in a Tim Burton film in her real life too. Or is she?!
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Wacky & Weird, Fashion Police, Full Throttle Fashion, Nurse!
Save the Trauma for Yo' Mama!
No pain, no fame! See which celebs have their asses in a sling! 
Filed under: Nurse!
Liv & Valentino's True Colors
Liv Tyler and Italian fashion designer Valentino showed up to an event together in NYC last night -- in matching orange outfits.
Real beauty like Liv's will never fade -- and neither will Val's tan.
Filed under: Style Insider, Nurse!
Calamity Kane -- Danity Singer Faceplants
One of the girls from Danity Kane who isn't Aubrey O'Day got down on stage at Youngstown University this weekend -- literally.
Do you have a first aid kit handy?
Filed under: Wacky & Weird, Nurse!
Hugh Hefner -- So So Def!
Def -- adj. -- to describe a person, thing, or event that is cool.
"Yo dawg, Hugh Hefner brought like 5 hot blonde skeezers out clubbin' in Hollywood last night -- that dude is def."
Oh, he also can't hear very well anymore.
Filed under: Nurse!
Star Jones Gorges on a Tongue Sandwich
With EMT workers no where to be found, divorcing diva Star Jones and her new man friend performed some sloppy mouth-to--mouth resuscitation on each other while at the U.S. Open on Tuesday.
In the picture below, it appears Star reverted to her first love.
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, The View, Nurse!
Maybe Parts of Shauna Sand Are 22 ...
With her gorgeous bottle blonde straw weave, fab East L.A. brows and plump-when-you-cook-'em lips and bosom, Lucite mother of three, Shauna Sand, partied over the weekend to celebrate her 37th birthday -- although she told our photog she was 22.
Shauna's natural beauty is ageless.
Stacy Keibler Will Drink You Under the Table
Former WWE diva turned "Dancing with the Stars" booty shaker Stacy Keibler got her groove on -- and then some -- by knocking back shots at a Manhattan Beach bar on Thursday night.
Notice the unsucked lime still sitting on the table. Stacy don't need no sissy lime.
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Nurse!
Madge Won't Disrobe for Airport Security
Like a grandma, Madonna went through airport security in Berlin on Thursday ... wearing a bathrobe!
At 50, Madge may not be old for her age, just a little senile.
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Wacky & Weird, Madonna, Nurse!
Cyrus Struck by Poser Virus
Miley Cyrus' father Billy Ray ... striking a pose similar to Rodin's The Thinker, except he doesn't have his hand on his chin and he rarely thinks.
We expect Mr. Montana will blame poor Annie Leibovitz for this one, too.
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Nurse!, Miley Cyrus
Who'd You Rather? Gummi vs Verne
If there was a gun to your head, would you rather kiss former plus-sized, flesh eating virus laden jerk Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis (left) or miniscule real life troll doll Verne Troyer (right)?
Filed under: Nurse!, Verne Troyer
Wino Says Cheers, Crowd Jeers
Amid a throng of boos and with her Jesus Juice in hand, medical oddity Amy Winehouse barely managed to crack out a performance at an English music festival over the weekend. Check out some of the lowlights.
Filed under: Beauty, Nurse!, Amy Winehouse
Frenchie Whips Fetish Fans Into a Frenzy
Her famously restricting ties to the world of bondage won't get "American Idol" reject Frenchie Davis booted off of her latest gig -- in fact, it probably got her the job!
Like many a wannabeen before her, the Season 2 loser performed at a Toronto street fair over the weekend, but this was no local balloon festival -- it was a leather and fetish fair! The safe word is "desperate."
Frenchie's kinky gig actually makes perfect sense, since going on "Idol" requires being a masochist.
Filed under: American Idol, Nurse!
